TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-28-25
APPROVED
Elbow Pope
Strength81
Speed59
Endurance70
Technique90
Molecular Density73.8
Existential Dread7
Fingers11
Toes6
TALE OF THE TAPE
Elbow Pope VS Moist Carl
Moist Carl
91Strength
82Speed
74Endurance
63Technique
61.4Molecular Density
86Existential Dread
10Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Moist Carl
Violence concluded.
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