TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
11-28-25
APPROVED
Chairman of the Floor
Strength65
Speed72
Endurance83
Technique80
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Chairman of the Floor VS Banana Hammurabi
Banana Hammurabi
73Strength
53Speed
79Endurance
95Technique
20.0Molecular Density
85Existential Dread
13Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Banana Hammurabi
Violence concluded.
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