TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-06-25
APPROVED
The Finger Counter
Strength63
Speed82
Endurance68
Technique87
Molecular Density2.7
Existential Dread25
Fingers23
Toes7
TALE OF THE TAPE
The Finger Counter VS Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
85Strength
70Speed
88Endurance
98Technique
3.2Molecular Density
45Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Chef Marco "Kitchen Nightmare"
Violence concluded.
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