TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-11-25
APPROVED
Spreadsheet Specter
Strength50
Speed60
Endurance80
Technique110
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread60
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Spreadsheet Specter VS John Jimmy
John Jimmy
95Strength
55Speed
84Endurance
66Technique
28.8Molecular Density
88Existential Dread
10Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
John Jimmy
Violence concluded.
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