TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-13-25
APPROVED
Shrek
Strength95
Speed50
Endurance90
Technique60
Molecular Density4.2
Existential Dread45
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Shrek VS Suds Sullivan
Suds Sullivan
90Strength
65Speed
85Endurance
82Technique
3.2Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Suds Sullivan
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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