TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-15-25
APPROVED
Tucan Shakur
Strength120
Speed100
Endurance20
Technique60
Molecular Density75.8
Existential Dread99
Fingers14
Toes13
TALE OF THE TAPE
Tucan Shakur VS Dank Dill
Dank Dill
75Strength
75Speed
75Endurance
75Technique
45.2Molecular Density
95Existential Dread
10Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dank Dill
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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