TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-15-25
APPROVED
Trash Expander
Strength80
Speed120
Endurance50
Technique50
Molecular Density72.9
Existential Dread91
Fingers13
Toes14
TALE OF THE TAPE
Trash Expander VS VIOLENCE PENDING
VIOLENCE PENDING
105Strength
75Speed
70Endurance
50Technique
67.1Molecular Density
90Existential Dread
8Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
VIOLENCE PENDING
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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