TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
12-22-25
APPROVED
Grout Goblin Gary
Strength74
Speed76
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density3.7
Existential Dread44
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Grout Goblin Gary VS Loch Ness Monster
Loch Ness Monster
83Strength
70Speed
76Endurance
71Technique
28.4Molecular Density
62Existential Dread
15Fingers
8Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Loch Ness Monster
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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