TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-02-26
APPROVED
Yogurt the Destroyer
Strength92
Speed48
Endurance95
Technique65
Molecular Density1.1
Existential Dread18
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Yogurt the Destroyer VS Uncle Kick Salad
Uncle Kick Salad
72Strength
87Speed
70Endurance
81Technique
0.8Molecular Density
31Existential Dread
10Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Yogurt the Destroyer
Violence concluded.
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