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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-06-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, January 6, 2026 at 8:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
George Harrison

George Harrison

Strength60
Speed80
Endurance75
Technique98
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread15
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
George Harrison VS Geologic Time
Geologic Time

Geologic Time

98Strength
13Speed
102Endurance
99Technique
10.8Molecular Density
94Existential Dread
15Fingers
15Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Geologic Time
Violence concluded.
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