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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-08-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 8, 2026 at 3:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Dust Bunny Dominator

Dust Bunny Dominator

Strength90
Speed60
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density1.7
Existential Dread55
Fingers8
Toes12
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dust Bunny Dominator VS The Leaf Blower
The Leaf Blower

The Leaf Blower

90Strength
80Speed
60Endurance
70Technique
3.1Molecular Density
32Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Dust Bunny Dominator
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule