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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-08-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Thursday, January 8, 2026 at 7:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Geologic Time

Geologic Time

Strength98
Speed13
Endurance102
Technique99
Molecular Density10.8
Existential Dread94
Fingers15
Toes15
TALE OF THE TAPE
Geologic Time VS George Harrison
George Harrison

George Harrison

60Strength
80Speed
75Endurance
98Technique
1.7Molecular Density
15Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Geologic Time
Violence concluded.
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