TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-13-26
APPROVED
Beef Injection
Strength92
Speed85
Endurance89
Technique75
Molecular Density3.8
Existential Dread5
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Beef Injection VS Rubber Glizzy
Rubber Glizzy
84Strength
75Speed
94Endurance
85Technique
2.9Molecular Density
72Existential Dread
10Fingers
11Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Rubber Glizzy
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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