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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-14-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 14, 2026 at 3:30 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Crayon Scribble in Blood Red

Crayon Scribble in Blood Red

Strength85
Speed65
Endurance80
Technique70
Molecular Density1.6
Existential Dread71
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Crayon Scribble in Blood Red VS The Leaf Blower
The Leaf Blower

The Leaf Blower

90Strength
80Speed
60Endurance
70Technique
3.1Molecular Density
32Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Leaf Blower
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule