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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
01-14-26
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Wednesday, January 14, 2026 at 6:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Sweet Baby Ray

Sweet Baby Ray

Strength111
Speed71
Endurance66
Technique62
Molecular Density79.2
Existential Dread98
Fingers8
Toes9
TALE OF THE TAPE
Sweet Baby Ray VS The Implied
The Implied

The Implied

55Strength
83Speed
77Endurance
85Technique
1.0Molecular Density
92Existential Dread
9Fingers
11Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

The Implied
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule