🥊 SPOODBLORT

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🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED

01-20-26

APPROVED

📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, January 20, 2026 at 6:00 PM

⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE

Shuffleboard Shirley

Strength50

Speed75

Endurance85

Technique95

Molecular Density1.3

Existential Dread50

Fingers10

Toes7

TALE OF THE TAPE

Shuffleboard Shirley VS Caps Lock Carl

Caps Lock Carl

92Strength

73Speed

91Endurance

64Technique

3.2Molecular Density

99Existential Dread

10Fingers

10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Shuffleboard Shirley

Violence concluded.

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