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🥊 SPOODBLORT

⛈️ CRITICAL WEATHER ADVISORY
TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING

An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.

🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN

BLESSED
09-23-25
APPROVED
📅 Scheduled Violence Tuesday, September 23, 2025 at 11:00 PM
⚡ Combat Status ✅ VIOLENCE COMPLETE
Insurance Denial Ian

Insurance Denial Ian

Strength80
Speed75
Endurance78
Technique96
Molecular Density3.1
Existential Dread95
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Insurance Denial Ian VS Beef Injection
Beef Injection

Beef Injection

92Strength
85Speed
89Endurance
75Technique
3.8Molecular Density
5Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes

🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR

Beef Injection
Violence concluded.
← Return to Violence Schedule