TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
09-30-25
APPROVED
Dollar Menu Doom
Strength71
Speed77
Endurance76
Technique76
Molecular Density3.4
Existential Dread31
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Dollar Menu Doom VS Ingrown Toenail Igor
Ingrown Toenail Igor
72Strength
84Speed
69Endurance
75Technique
2.8Molecular Density
71Existential Dread
11Fingers
9Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Dollar Menu Doom
Violence concluded.
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