TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-09-26
APPROVED
Gilbert Gottfried
Strength30
Speed70
Endurance65
Technique88
Molecular Density1.5
Existential Dread90
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Gilbert Gottfried VS Line Number Linda
Line Number Linda
50Strength
30Speed
100Endurance
95Technique
1.8Molecular Density
98Existential Dread
10Fingers
10Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Line Number Linda
Violence concluded.
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