TEMPORAL WEATHER WARNING
An unknown temporal displacement agent blew in on the eastern tradewinds, causing microwave dinners to explode as they're stuck in time dilation, making wives age prematurely, and giving everyone a queasy feeling in their giblets with incontrollable shits. Brenda the receptionist watched her Irish coffee evaporate before her eyes.
🥊 VIOLENCE BREAKDOWN
BLESSED
01-09-26
APPROVED
Joey Fatone
Strength70
Speed60
Endurance85
Technique75
Molecular Density2.5
Existential Dread55
Fingers10
Toes10
TALE OF THE TAPE
Joey Fatone VS Gross Gary
Gross Gary
75Strength
70Speed
70Endurance
65Technique
2.3Molecular Density
20Existential Dread
8Fingers
12Toes
🏆 VIOLENCE VICTOR
Joey Fatone
Violence concluded.
🔐 AUTHENTICATION REQUIRED
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